AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN OUR LIVES, THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED BUT DIDN’T. THE MAGIC MOMENTS GO UNRECOGNIZED, AND THEN SUDDENLY, THE HAND OF DESTINY CHANGES EVERYTHING.PAULO COELHO

BRZKMND posts are designed for you to get a peek into my mindset, interesting concepts, and a feel for how I think.

No current narration.

I’m going to start by saying that this is not a post about lessons from other people who inspire me. This is a personal post about me and one thing that has been lingering in my mind for years. If I can say I’ve learned anything during my lifetime that helped me push myself forward towards my purpose and self-discovery, it’s putting my thoughts into action. It’s about applying anything that I truly believe in the real world. It’s me sitting down and trying to learn how to do something that seems impossible at the moment. I have done things like create websites, programs, applications, games, and as you can see, maintain a blog for self-expression. These topics are very comprehensive, but I have taken the time to learn the ins and outs of how to do them at least at an intermediate level. I am always trying something new, something outside of my comfort zone.

I also have struggles I can’t seem to overcome no matter how hard I try. These challenges often humble me to where I feel powerless to an extent. I think so much that it’s hard to get out of my own mind. I believe the reason for this is because of childhood conditioning that I suppress to keep things moving. I tried a bit of therapy, but honestly, that wasn’t really helpful. The truth is, I am still content with my life. Perhaps this is simply my true nature. I make friends with my keystrokes. I have relationships with my creations. This blog might be my best friend. If you know me, you know I’m an introvert. It’s difficult to reach me most time. Understand that I don’t take pride in this, though. We are social beings; we’re supposed to convene.

The tricky part about all of this is that I still get social loneliness. I still crave social interactions and physical affection. This put me in a weird spot at times; exploring that topic would only lead to more complications. My anxiety has led me to do deplorable things. I lost and possibly hurt many people because of my social withdrawal, even before I knew what to call it. Can you imagine fighting social loneliness and social withdrawal simultaneously?

Listen, I have met so many people that I could have become great friends with. I let many amazing women slip through my fingers. Not only that but there are many people whom I regretfully never had the chance to meet because I always stuck to my routines and habits. I would let people pass by. I suppose that is the true reason I do not have children at my age. At times, I find myself questioning whether my personality tends to be selfish. I think it is now it’s kind of depressing to think about.

All that being said, as my title suggests, “life responds to efforts, not just thoughts”. I want to make this year different for me. I write a lot about how people can think their way into achieving what they want. I knew that to be true my whole adult. I commit to doing the same because I truly want different from myself.